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(We are introduced to an old lady who goes by the name Doris sat on an old looking sofa in an isolated room) #charliisthebest


Doris – well hello my lovely’s, I guess you’re here to see how a sweet old lady like myself ended up being put into a mad house

Well let me take you all back to when my husband Barry was alive and was living in Nottingham

(scene changes – the room has opened into a dark living room with only a lamp on, Doris is still sat on the sofa but picks up a cross word puzzle book and is sat in front of a tv that is currently not on)

Doris (calling out into the distance) – Barry love?

Barry (replying from a distance) – yes dear

Doris – where is the most common place for a sheep to live?

Barry (walking into the room with 2 cups of tea) – well that is wales of course dear

Doris – oh yeah it is, isn’t it love (chuckling)

Barry – is they anything good on the television tonight dear?

Doris – no not really, same old shit

Barry – there isn’t anything worth watching anymore!

Doris – I agree my love

Barry – well seems they isn’t anything on the TV, I guess I’ll go do some ironing

Doris – oh you are a gentleman aren’t you

(We see Barry walking out of the room with his cup of tea)


(The stage has a black out and we hear a scream from Barry)

(Lights come back on –room has changed we are shown a little girl sat next to Doris on the sofa, watching TV)

Doris – are you hungry summer?

(Summer nods her head)

Doris – well how about your grandma go get you a snack?

(Doris gets up and leaves the room – shortly later Doris screams)

Summer gets worried and walks into the kitchen to see if her grandma is all right)

Summer – grandma?

Doris – oh, yes dear

Summer – why did you scream?

Doris – oh nothing dear, it’s just your grandad, I saw him, standing doing the ironing

(Blackout – next day – we are introduced to a school classroom as the lights come on)

Teacher – ok everyone, hope you’ve all enjoyed drawing today, see you all tomorrow.

(We see summer walking out of the class room and outside and approaches her mother)

Jane (summers mother) – summer, how was school?

Summer – good thanks mum

Jane – is that a drawing I see?

Summer – yes, it is, want to see it?

Jane – oh yes please

(Jane pauses for a few seconds trying to figure out what it is that summer has drawn)

Summer – do you like it?  Its grandma

Jane – yes dear, it’s….     Very nice. What’s grandma doing?

Summer – it’s her face when she saw grandad last night

Jane – what do you mean? Your Grandad died years ago

(Blackout – we can here 2 people with one voice sounding like Janes talking about what summer has just told her mother)

Man – what do you mean she saw your dad?

Jane – I don’t know! Summer said she saw him last time she was round her house

Man – well, what should we do?

Jane – I’m not sure. Maybe we should take her to see someone?

Man – I agree she’s crazy!

(Lights come back on to Jane talking to her mother on her sofa later that evening)

Jane – mum.

Doris – yes dear

Jane – we need to talk

Doris – oh, ok what’s wrong?

Jane – it’s about dad.

Doris – I told you already I don’t need any counselling

Jane – no mum, it’s not about the counselling

Doris – well what is it then love?

Jane – at the weekend when summer was round here with you, she said you saw dad?

Doris – yes! Yes, I did he was stood there doing the ironing

Jane – mum, you can’t have seen him

Doris – I know that, but I really did see him, he was stood there in his blue shirt doing the ironing

Jane – look.

Doris – I’m not lying Jane!

Jane – look I think we should go see someone about this

Doris – I’m not going anywhere!

Jane – look you’re not making this easy for me are you? All I want is to check that you are alright and healthy

Doris – I’m perfectly fine Jane

Jane – ok then mother, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll call round tomorrow to check on you

(Jane gets off the sofa and walks off stage as the stage goes to a blackout)

(Still in black out, we here Jane and the man talking again)

Jane – Dave, look she needs help but she’s refusing to go anywhere

Dave – well if she need to see someone so bad, why don’t we trick her into going to see someone?

Jane – great idea but how are we going to convince her?

Dave – what we will do is we will go round tomorrow and I’ll talk to her, ok?

Jane – ok

(Next day – lights come back on to Doris sat on the sofa reading the newspaper)

(Knock on the door – Doris gets up to answer it)

Doris – oh hello love

Jane – hiya mum, how are you?

Doris – good thanks, oh hello Dave

Dave – hello Doris

Doris – what brings you two here?

Dave – well, we would like to invite you somewhere

Doris – oh no, I’m not going to see anyone about Barry

Dave – no Doris, it’s not about Barry, its summer

Doris – oh, is she ok

Dave – yeah, she’s fine she is at school, practicing for a mini school choir that’s on tomorrow night and she asked us if you can come so what do you think… can you come.

Doris – it would be lovely to come

Dave – well then, we will pick you up at 6 tomorrow afternoon

Doris – I’ll be looking forward to it


(The next day – we see Doris getting her shoes on in the living room as lights come back on)

Doris (talking to herself) – I can’t wait to see summers performance

(Knock at the door)

Doris – come in its open

(Jane enters)

Jane – hello mum, you ready to go?

Doris – yes love, can’t wait!

Jane – let’s go, I must make a quick stop to pick up summer on the way

(We see Jane and Doris exit the stage as the stage goes into a blackout)

(The lights come back on to a doctor’s waiting room)

(Doris and Jane enters)

Jane – Dave should be in here somewhere

Doris – look there he is

Jane – ah yeah, so he is

(Jane and Doris approaches Dave)

Dave – hello Doris

Doris – hiya love, I can’t believe summer sprained her ankle

Dave – no neither can I

Doris – when can we go see her?

Dave – well they said they will call for us to go in

(Lady walks in and asks for David)

(Dave, Jane and Doris all follow the lady off stage)


(As the lights come on we can see a doctor at his desk)

(Doris, Jane and David enter)

Doctor – ah, welcome Doris

Doris – where’s summer?

Doctor – ah well, you see summer is fine we just wanted to check on you?

Doris – me!?

Doctor – yes Doris

Doris (turning to Dave and Jane) – you lied to me!

Jane – mum, you needed to see someone!

Doris – but by lying to your own mother!

Dave – look Doris, if you say nothing’s wrong with you then just let the doctor do his thing

Doris – fine! But I’m telling you now, they isn’t anything wrong with me

Doctor – ok now Doris, I’m just going ask you a few questions

(Light slowly fades till a blackout)

(Lights slowly come back on to a different Livingroom with Jane sat on the sofa)

(Summer walks in the room)

Summer – mum

Jane – yes dear

Summer – can I go see grandma?

Jane – summer, your grandma isn’t very well, the doctor said she needs to spend time alone

Summer – oh no!

Jane – and I don’t think shell want to see anyone

Summer – but grandma always say I cheer her up

Jane – look you can’t go see grandma

Summer – but why mum!

Jane – she’s crazy summer and it’s not safe for you go see her!

Summer – Grandma’s not crazy, she’s kind

Jane – yes but she’s gone crazy ever since your grandad died!

Summer – is it because she screamed?

Jane – yes love

Summer – but she’s only seeing grandad, he scared her

Jane – summer how could she of saw him, he’s been dead for nearly 5 years now

Summer – but mum she’s just imagining him, she probably misses him

Jane (raising her voice) – stop arguing with me summer!

Summer – but grandma is fine! She’s not crazy

(Lights blackout – the lights come back on and we see Dave sat next to Jane on the sofa)

Jane – summers being a right pain the in the arse

Dave – why, what’s she done?

Jane – well she asked me if she could go see grandma

Dave – yeah,   and?

Jane – well I told her she’s not well and she won’t want anyone to visit her

Dave – and then what happened?

Jane – well she wasn’t having it. She said that Doris says she always cheers her up

Dave – she does love it when summer goes round

Jane – I know that but she can’t be with her she’s crazy and it’s not safe for her to be around her!

Dave – I know that’s she’s old and all that but are you sure she’s crazy? Like she only saw a ghost

Jane – whose bloody side are you on Dave!

Dave – she’s probably just confused Jane, she’s old and people’s minds play tricks on them when they are confused

Jane – Dave! Stop taking her side

Dave – I’m only suggesting that you might be over thinking the situation

Jane – if you like her that much them why do you go and live with her!

Dave – Jane look, I’m was only saying you might be taking it too far

Jane – you know what Dave, I’ve had enough! Go pack your bags and please leave

Dave – but what about summer?

Jane – you can see her at the weekends

Dave –   but Jane are you sure about this

Jane – of course I am Dave

Dave – but all we had was a little disagreement

Jane – Dave look I don’t want to talk about it now! You can stay but I want you gone by Friday night

Dave – ok then Jane. We will need to sort out what’s mine and what’s yours and what’s happening with summer

Jane – fine! You can sleep on the sofa tonight then!


(Lights slowly come back on to Dave packing a box)

Dave (talking to himself) – I can’t believe this! All over me saying that they is a possibility that she’s not crazy! She’s a twat!

(Jane enters the room)

Jane – well that looks about everything

Dave – yep just need to get my toiletries

Jane – here you forgot this

(Jane handing over a shirt)

Dave – oh thanks. Well my rides here so I guess I’ll see you soon

Jane – yep ill text you about having summer round yours

Dave ok thanks. I’m going to miss this place

(Dave exits the stage/room)

(Lights fade to a blackout)

(Lights come back on to a different set up Livingroom)

(Dave walks in and sits on the sofa and picks up a TV remote)

(A phone rings and Dave picks it up)

Dave – hello, oh hi Jane, how’s summer? Oh yeah sure, when? Yeah, I’ll be there in about 10 minutes, ok, thanks, bye

(Dave gets his shoes on and gets up to leave as the lights go to a blackout)

(Lights come on to Janes Livingroom set up with Jane and summer sat on sofa watching TV)

(Knock at the door, Jane gets up to answer it)

Jane – hello Dave

Dave – hiya Jane

Jane (calling into the other room) – summer you ready?

Dave – so how is everything?

Jane – yeah everything’s fine

Dave – that’s good

(Summer approaches the door)

Summer (whilst running up to her dad) – dad!!

Dave – heyy summer! How are you?

Summer – good thanks dad

Dave – that’s good sweetie

Dave – well summer wanna see my new house?

Summer – yeah!

Dave – ok then summer say bye to your mum

Summer – bye mum

Jane – bye summer, have fun

(Dave and summer exit the house and the lights go to a blackout)

(lights come back on to dave’s Livingroom set up)

(Dave and summer enters)

Dave – what do you think of my house then?

Summer – it’s amazing!

Dave – glad you like it

summer – my rooms so big! And full of toys to play with

Dave – summer, how would you like to go see grandma?

Summer – but mum said she’s crazy and won’t want anyone to visit her

Dave – well your mums wrong, grandma loves seeing you

Summer – but what if mum finds out?

Dave – well she doesn’t have to know, this could be our little secret

Summer – yay! Going to see grandma

(Dave and summer exit as lights fade out)

(lights come back on to Doris sitting on her sofa alone reading a book)

(knock at the door)

Doris- oh I wonder who that could be

(Doris opens the door)

Doris – summer!

Summer – grandma!

Doris – I fought your mum didn’t want me to see you anymore

Dave – yeah well that’s her summers visiting me this weekend

Doris – why what’s happened with jane

Dave – oh well she was stupid, I asked if she’s sure about stopping you from seeing summer and she went mad and asked me to leave

Doris – wow! stupid bitch

Dave – yeah well, I’ve got a place of my own now so I have summer at weekends

Doris – good for you love. Come in make yourself comfortable

Dave- thanks

Doris – do you want a drink summer?

Summer – yes please

Doris – Dave?

Dave – yes please

Doris – tea? Coffee?

Dave – umm tea please Doris

Doris – coming right up

(Doris leaves the room)

(summer stats playing with some toys in a box next to the tv whilst Dave sits on the sofa)

Dave – you happy to be seeing your grandma again

Summer – yeah!

Dave – good

(Doris enters with 2 drinks and gives one to Dave and the other to summer)

Doris – it’s a lovely surprise for you two to turn up

Dave – yeah summer couldn’t wait to come when I told her we would be coming around

Doris – well then, I guess you will have to call round more often

Summer – grandma

Doris – yes love?

Summer – are you crazy?

Doris – what do you mean dear?

Summer – well mu-

(Dave quickly cuts in)

Dave – jane said you’re crazy

Doris – is that why she won’t let me see summer?

Dave – yeah. Its because you saw Barry

Doris – oh gosh, it was only my mind playing tricks on me

Dave – that’s what I tried to tell jane

Doris – it’s just that I miss him

Dave – I know what you mean

(daves phone rings)

Dave – ayup mate

You alright?


Oh, crap yeah, no problem I’ll be right there yup I’m leaving now

(hangs up)

Doris – what’s wrong?

Dave – one of my mates was just involved in an accident

Doris – oh gosh

Dave – yeah, I gotta drive him to the hospital! Do you mind looking after summer?

Doris – yeah, no worries love, go get him to the hospital

Dave – thanks Doris

(Dave walk up to summer and crouches down)

Dave – summer, I’m going to have to nip out you stay here with grandma ok?

Summer – ok daddy

Dave (standing up walking towards the door) – I’ll be back as soon as I can

Doris – take your time love

(Dave exits)

Doris – you hungry summer?

(Summer nods her head)

Doris – You can help yourself to some chocolate from the fridge dear

Summer – thanks grandma!

Doris – no worries

(summer gets up and walks into the kitchen)

(they are a blackout and we hear a scream from summer)

(the lights come on to summer wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa watching tv)

Doris – how are you feeling now summer?

Summer – ok

Doris – so what happened?

Summer – I saw grandad

Doris – did you?

Summer – yes, I did!

Doris – and what was he doing?

Summer – he was at the table eating

Doris – well whatever you do don’t tell your mum you saw him as she will go mad!

Summer – I won’t grandma

Doris – good, your dad shouldn’t be too long now

(Dave enters the house)

Dave (walking into the Livingroom)– hey, I’m back

Doris – hiya love, was everything ok

Dave – yeah nothing serious

Doris – that’s good dear

Dave – you alright summer?

(Summer don’t move)

Dave – summer?

Doris –she’s a little worked up

Dave – oh how come

Doris – summer, want to tell your dad what happened?

Summer – I saw grandad

Dave – what?

Summer – he was sat in the kitchen eating

Dave – summer he can’t have been

Summer – he was!

Doris – I did tell you he visited

Dave – yeah in your imagination!

Doris – but how could we both see his?

Dave – I don’t know!

Doris – what was grandad waring summer?

Summer – a shirt

Doris – what color was it?

Summer – it was a blue with red stripes on it

Doris – Dave look ill prove it to you, he has that shirt I’ve kept it up in the spare room

Dave – go on then

(Doris gets up and leaves)

Dave – summer your mind is probably playing tricks with you

Summer – but he looked real

Dave – I know but somethings look real when they aren’t

(Dave and summer start to watch TV)

(Doris walks back in empty handed)

Dave – so?

Doris – it’s not there

Dave – like I said you mind is playing tricks on you

Doris – but the other day when I was sorting his things out getting rid of what I didn’t want I saw the shirt and I liked that so I kept it

Dave – yeah, but it’s not there!

Doris – Dave I’m not lying

Dave – now I see why Jane didn’t want summer to see you!

Doris – Dave! Don’t be like this, please

Dave – come on summer, we’re leaving!

(Dave and summer exit as we have a blackout)

(The lights come back on to Jane’s Livingroom set up)

(Jane is sat on the sofa watching TV)

(Knock at the door)

(Jane gets up and answers the door)

Jane – oh hello Dave

Dave – hiya, summers just getting her bag out the car

Jane – ok, how was she

Dave – yeah she was fine

(Summer enters)

Summer – mummy

Jane – summer!

(Summer runs up to Jane and hugs her)

Jane – you had fun?

(Summer is silent)

Jane – summer you ok?

Dave – she’s probably tired

Jane – oh ok well ill text you about having summer next weekend#

Dave – yeah brilliant

Dave – ok bye summer

(Summer waves Dave goodbye as Dave exits)

(Jane and summer goes and sits on the sofa)

Jane – you tired summer?

(Summer is still)

Jane – summer? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost

Summer – grandad

Jane – what?

Summer – I saw him

Jane – where summer?

Summer – grandma’s house

Jane – when

Summer – this morning, dad took me

Jane – what!

Jane – I told him I didn’t want you to see her


Jane – Dave look summer told me

No Dave I don’t care, I told you I didn’t want summer to see her

Look just don’t bother

I’m not letting you see summer for 2 months now

No I’m not discussing this, bye

(Lights come back on to Doris’s Livingroom setup with Doris on the sofa)

(Knock at the door)

(Doris gets up to answer it)

Doris – oh hiya Dave

Dave – hey

Doris – what brings you here?

Dave – well it’s about summer and Jane

Doris – come in, want a drink?

Dave – no thanks

(They both head for the sofa)

Doris – so what’s wrong?

Dave – well I’ve been stopped from seeing summer for 2 months

Doris – what! Why?

Dave – well summer told her mum that she say grandad

Doris – oh gosh I thought she might say something

Dave – yeah so did I

Can I just nip to the toilet?

Doris – yeah sure, you know where it is don’t you

Dave – yeah, thanks, shouldn’t be too long

Doris – no worries

(Dave gets up and exits the stage)

(Shortly after Dave leaves, we hear a scream from Dave)

(Dave comes running into the Livingroom in a panic)

Doris – what’s wrong dear!

Dave (out of breath) – someone’s in the bathroom!

Doris – what? Who?

Dave – I’m not 100% sure but it looked like Barry

Doris (being cocky) – oh Dave, it’s only your imagination

Dave – no seriously! I saw him

(Lights slowly fade out)